Franco-American Relations - Humorous Letter

An actual letter to home from a Marine with the multinational force in Bosnia:

Dear Dad,

A funny thing happened to me yesterday at Camp Bondsteel (Bosnia): A French army officer walked up to me in the PX, and told me he thought we (Americans) were a bunch of cowboys and were going to provoke a war in Iraq. He said if such a thing happens, we wouldn't be able to count on the support of France.

I told him that it didn't surprise me. Since we had come to France's rescue in World War I, World War II, Vietnam, and the Cold War, their ingratitude and jealousy was due to surface (again) at some point in the near future anyway. I also told him that is why France is a third-rate military power with a socialist economy and a bunch of pansies for soldiers. I additionally told him that America, being a nation of deeds and action, not words, would do whatever it had to do, and France's support, if it ever came, was only for show anyway. Just like in All NATO exercises, the US would shoulder 85% of the burden, and provide 85% of the support, as evidenced by the fact that this French officer was shopping in the American PX, and not the other way around.

He began to get belligerent at that point, and I told him if he would like to, I would meet him outside in front of the Burger King and whip his a** in front of the entire Multi-National Brigade East, thus demonstrating that even the smallest American had more fight than the average Frenchman.

With friends like these, who needs enemies?

Dad, tell Mom I love her.

Your loving daughter

Mary Beth Johnson
LtCol., USMC

via email from Mom

9 March 2005 Update: This letter is a hoax, according to the folks at Snopes.com: "Tell It To The Marines"

I apologize for this misinformation.