Darwin Awards posthumously commemorate those who improve our gene pool by removing themselves from it in really stupid ways.
Here are the 2001 recipients:
Darwin Awards
Think Before You Leap
Intersecting Darwins
Crystal Daze
Honorable Mentions (tiny division of Darwin Awards)
Sobriety Test
Tied to His Work
"He who hesitates... lives!"
July 2001, Idaho | His brakes failed while driving down a steep mountain road, so Marco bailed out on his eight passengers and leapt from his Dodge van. Too bad Marco didn't alert the others to the problem before he took flight so precipitously. Another passenger pulled the hand brake, bringing the vehicle to a stop a short distance away. Marco struck his head on the pavement and died at the scene. No one else was injured.
South Idaho Press
"Two wrongs do make a right!"
April 2001, Tennessee | One day before the US tax filing deadline, a Memphis Darwin Award winner trying to beat a train drove around the crossing gates -- only to be struck by an oncoming vehicle whose driver had the same mad plan. The driver of the first vehicle was killed, making this monumental stupidity the first instance we have witnessed of a Darwin Award winner crashing into an Honorable Mention. The accident happened to one side of the tracks, so the train passed by unimpeded.
Memphis Commercial Appeal
"Darwin and Newton share a laugh."
Mexico is home to two hot caverns containing the largest natural crystals known to man. "Walking into either of these caves is like stepping into a (sweltering) gigantic geode," described one awed observer. Some of the translucent selenite crystals are over 20 feet long. The newly-discovered caverns, 1200 feet below Chihuahua, carry a curse for those who seek to plunder their riches. A man recently tried to steal one of the magnificent crystals from the roof, and might have succeeded... if he hadn't stood directly beneath it while chopping it free. He was crushed by the stalactite as it heeded the call of gravity.
Reference: Discovery (Channel) News
May 2001 | In a poorly judged attempt to convince his wife he was sober enough to drive, a 29-year-old husband pulled up to a State Police barracks in his pickup truck, parked illegally, and demanded a sobriety check. He failed the Breathalyzer test and was taken into custody. "Basically," an amused Sergeant Paul Slevinski explained, "his wife won the argument."
Southampton Press
January 2001, Florida | A 24-year-old construction worker tied himself to a piece of scaffolding for safety while working on the 4th floor of the county jail annex. Forgetting he was attached to the metal, he tossed it to the ground, and was carried along for the ride. He landed on the scaffolding, which pierced both legs. He was treated for his injuries at Bayfront Medical Center in St. Petersburg, and hopefully counseled on the use of his most important safety tool: his brain.
Sarasota Herald-Tribune
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by Daniel Johnson, Jr. & Jazzmania Productions
Keeping the 'fun' in dysfunctional
Everything written here is my personal opinion and not that of any employer, past or present.
