Continuing the Journey

Tomorrow I have a therapist appointment. I posted some thoughts in a poem entitled "Reflection" to "Streams of Consciousness".

At the last meeting, the therapist recommended I get some "stress balls" to keep my hands busy instead of picking. I did that, and, if I have them nearby, I've found them to be helpful.

Speaking of Self-Injury, I found this great article entitled "When Pain Is All You Have," which you may want to read to get a better understanding of self harm. I also found this article/message board thread on WebMD that contains ways others keep themselves safe (i.e., what to do instead of self-injury).

Note: the next few paragraphs contain details of self harm and may contain triggers for those who may be vulnerable.

Last night, however, I started messing with a scab on my wrist. It was close to being healed, and I started picking the scab off it. Eventually, I saw that if I continued to squeeze the area, the blood blister underneath would pop. It did. Then I saw how thick the scarry skin around the scab was. I decided to bite it in order to make it smoother. Of course there was some bleeding.

I looked for the hydrogen peroxide, which I usually administer after an episode like this, but I couldn't find it. I took a wad of toilet paper, soaked it in cold water, and applied it to the wound so that the bleeding would slow and stop. Then I found the Band-Aid™ Liquid Bandage kit and applied the liquid bandage to the area.