Soiled Speech

Two nights ago, I had to discipline Keisha. She and I were out running errands, and I had been teasing her. She was getting upset. Finally she called me a "f**ker".

Immediately, the tone changed. She said she didn't know it was a bad word, but I could tell that she meant for it to hurt. I told her I understood, but that I had to teach her that it was and make sure she didn't call anyone that name again. We would take care of it when we got home.

We continued our errands, and, when we got home, Keisha went to the bathroom. I asked her if she remembered that we had unfinished business, and she replied that she did.

In the past, when we needed to "wash her mouth out," we made her rinse her mouth out with mouthwash - the strong kind. This time, however, I took a bar of soap, wetted it, and put a corner of it in her mouth for a couple seconds.

It made Keisha sick. We hadn't eaten any dinner yet, but, if we had, well... it would have been ugly. Not to say that her heaving and gagging wasn't ugly to begin with. With the gagging came the tears and spitting.

Yesterday at breakfast, I read to her Matthew 12:36:

And I tell you this, that you must give an account on judgment day of every idle word you speak.

and some of James 3:1-12:

1Dear brothers and sisters, not many of you should become teachers in the church, for we who teach will be judged by God with greater strictness.

2We all make many mistakes, but those who control their tongues can also control themselves in every other way. 3We can make a large horse turn around and go wherever we want by means of a small bit in its mouth. 4And a tiny rudder makes a huge ship turn wherever the pilot wants it to go, even though the winds are strong. 5So also, the tongue is a small thing, but what enormous damage it can do. A tiny spark can set a great forest on fire. 6And the tongue is a flame of fire. It is full of wickedness that can ruin your whole life. It can turn the entire course of your life into a blazing flame of destruction, for it is set on fire by hell itself.

7People can tame all kinds of animals and birds and reptiles and fish, 8but no one can tame the tongue. It is an uncontrollable evil, full of deadly poison. 9Sometimes it praises our Lord and Father, and sometimes it breaks out into curses against those who have been made in the image of God. 10And so blessing and cursing come pouring out of the same mouth. Surely, my brothers and sisters, this is not right! 11Does a spring of water bubble out with both fresh water and bitter water? 12Can you pick olives from a fig tree or figs from a grapevine? No, and you can't draw fresh water from a salty pool.

I used the analogy of squeezing toothpaste from a tube - you can't put it back in once it's out. That's the same thing with our words, I told her.

Afterward, we prayed about our speech and what we'd read. I felt convicted by it myself.

1/14/2005 Update: Brian rightly reminded me of Ephesians 6:4

Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.

I need to watch myself and rein it in. I owe my daughter an apology.