Tuesday, August 31, 2004

More on Scab Picking

"Daddy, you need to stop picking."


So said Keisha tonight as she looked at the scabs on my legs and arm. My daughter now realizes that I have a problem with self-injury.

Jennie asked me Sunday night about how I've been feeling because she's noticed I've been picking my scabs a lot more frequently of late. It took awhile for me to get there, mostly because I didn't really know. I finally concluded that I've been picking my scabs as a way to deal with the emotional stress I've been feeling with respect to the other, circumstantial stressors in my life.

I talked to the psychiatrist about this, and I believe that I pick the scabs because it's something I can control, whereas I feel that so much else in my life is out of control. I cannot control/fix my wife's health, nor can I fix my daughter's bladder problems. I have no immediate fix for our financial woes either.

I can control opening the scabs. I can take care of the bleeding and apply antiseptic and so forth. Seeing the blood provides a bit of relief from the emotional stress.

2 comments:

Karen said...

That makes a lot of sense, the control issue!! There are so many things we can't control and some times we deal with it better than others. I hope now that you realize what is causing it, it can help you.

*HUGS*

yoga for ed said...

It's so important to realize that every time you get upset, it drains your emotional energy.