How about some compliments?

from The Surrealist Compliment Generator

• You so truly know your inner plankton, it is a revelation not unlike discovering an impacted toll booth upon the plains of Patagonia.
  
• Hearty woes and congratulations on your recent conquest of the Islets of Langerhans!
  
• Your hair is reminiscent of a digesting yak.
  
• Your eyes are like spheres of glue filled with shimmering worms.
  

Not satisifed? Well, go there yourself to get one! You'll amaze and encourage your friends!