Monday, March 29, 2004

I Am Not Loving It

Last night I was walking back to the grill area, and I slipped and fell, landing on my right hip, elbow, and hand. I reported this accident to the manager, and she completed some paperwork after we closed last night. After I'd reported it to her, she asked if I needed to go to Urgent Care (an after-hours clinic). I told her that I felt I would be okay.

A little while later, while cleaning the grill (part of the closing routine), I burned my right index finger. The pain was so acute that, along with the previous incident, I cursed and threw the utensil I'd been using, ripping off the latex gloves I was wearing as I headed toward the employee restroom to douse my right hand with cold water.

I wanted and needed the privacy because I was so upset. I feel that the franchise owners do not convey an attitude that promotes safety. There are management inconsistencies in this area as well as in other areas of the business.

Everyone has things that they value and desire when it comes to a job or a career. Two of mine are

  • The company strives to live within its values and mission
  • Every employee can be made to feel that he or she can make a difference
Some coworkers asked me if I was okay after the burn incident. I replied, "No. I'm pissed off."

I feel like I've lost my heart for this job. I definitely don't feel like giving more of myself to this company, and looking for extra ways to make it successful, if I'm not feeling like I'm that important to them.

I came home tired and upset. Jennie and I talked, and I was so worked up that I had a hard time relaxing to fall asleep. I needed to pray, so we did.

I don't want to work at a place where my wife is wondering whether I'll be able to come home in the same condition as I was when I left.

My feet have been hurting, too, from all the time I've spent over the years standing on my feet. I suppose it's a chronic problem, but the pain has become more acute as of late. Jennie recently saw a podiatrist about her feet, and I made an appointment to see someone from the same office for tomorrow morning.

I also contacted our family doctor to schedule and appointment related to my injury last night. He doesn't see patients for work-related injuries, and his receptionist referred me to an occupational health clinic that does. I made an appointment to see them for tomorrow afternoon. I'm still feeling some pain in my right hand, elbow, and hip. I also am feeling some pain on the right side of my back.

The power is still of at our place, by the way. Jennie deposited my paycheck from last Friday into the bank on Saturday. I had expected to make a cash withdrawal for an amount to take to the utility company's pay agent so that we could get the power back on today.

I found out after waiting in line at the bank, that the deposit had not gone through yet. The teller said that it would post to our account this evening.

As I drove home, I wept and prayed, "God, I don't even know what to pray for anymore. It seems that there is so much that we need, and I know that you know what we need even before we ask."

I'm tired. I want all of this to be over. I prayed last night that God would somehow take Jennie, Keisha, and I up to heaven so that we could be with him. I feel like our lives would be so much better than the state where we are now.

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