Tears Fall Down Like Rain

That's what's happening as I just read an email I got from Mom. I miss her so much (*sob*)! You can read about all that she's going through over at her blog: Me, Myself, and I. She has and always will be a true Balcony Person to me.

You probably have an idea what a balcony person is: someone who cheers you from the grandstands as you run the race. That's what Mom is to me. Somehow she always is able to encourage me despite her particular circumstances. You truly are a great gift from God, Mom. I love you 100 million thousand.

Here are some excerpts from her email:

I love you so much. I was able to catch up on your blog...

... I wish there was more I could do to help. I am concerned that you have thoughts of stealing. It's not the things you want; it's the acting out. I hope you realize that. I am concerned also about the the high incidence of mutilating again...

... I think I screwed everything up by coming back to Texas. I am sure Keisha is wetting again because of the stress and anxiety of the situation at home as it it might be about anything else. It might be easy to be indulgent of her at this time but be cautious of that. You would be harming her not helping her.

Now when you need more than ever I am not there.

I feel bad for Jennie too. She doesn't deserve to be more stressed out.

I remember when you were an infant, I met an elderly lady at a laundromat, and she told me through conversation, when I reached the end of my rope to tie a knot and hang on. I have remembered that so many times in these almost 34 years. Now I am telling you. You tell Jennie.

Jesus said, "I will never leave you nor forsake you." Remember, Satan comes to steal, kill and destroy. Don't let him. You are MY child and you are God's child. We have ahold of you. We always have and always will.

If I can survive all that I have and figure a way out of my situations, then you can too.
It may not be easy. Pull yourself up. Brush yourself off. Put your chin up. You get out there and kick some a**, you hear me?

I know you have it in you because you have some of me in you. Think back to how Mom always found a way. Maybe I made it look easy. If I did I am sorry. It wasn't easy. I guess I tried to spare you kids as a parent does.

Your family is depending on you. God wouldn't let you be in this position without giving you a way to handle it. Don't let pride get in your way. If you have to go to churches and ask for help in getting your phone turned on, do it. If you have to do it to keep utilities turned on, do it.

Then you can get the part time job. As you said in your blog, they can't call you without the phone...

...I love you all so much to allow you three to suffer without trying to do something...

...Give Jennie and Keisha a kiss and hug for me. Don't worry about me. I am going to be OK. I am worrying about y'all up there.

Love, Mom