Married and Faithful

Jen, who recently signed my guestmap, posted some questions related to married people who struggle with infidelity. I do not consider myself to be an expert on marriage - I've only been married for 7 years - but since I do have a little bit of experience, I'll share what I believe. Here goes:

First of all, my wife and I are committed followers of Jesus Christ. We consider our individual relationships with God as paramount to any other relationship. Secondly, our relationship with each other is more important than family, friends, etc. Since our wedding day, we both have taken our vows seriously. The gushy emotions we felt during the first year of marriage have not persisted. It is the love we each have for God and for each other that has kept us together.

9 Two are better than one,
because they have a good return for their work:
10 If one falls down,
his friend can help him up.
But pity the man who falls
and has no one to help him up!
11 Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.
But how can one keep warm alone?
12 Though one may be overpowered,
two can defend themselves.
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

-- Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 (NIV)

Here is another way to look at it: God, my wife, and I are at each corner of a triangle. He does not move. As Jennie (my wife's name) and I move closer to God, we get closer to each other by default. So the key to having a healthy marriage is for each person to stay close to God.

This relates to the subject of infidelity. Early in our marriage I used to believe that I wouldn't struggle with lust. After all, I'm married now! I was naive. As I mentioned before, the gushy feelings we had have not always been there, but our commitment to each other has. I have found that when I am not close to God, I tend to be open toward stuggles with lust. Remember the triangle: If we move away from God, we also move away from each other.

Keeping a healthy marriage is hard work! One should not think it any other way. It involves daily renewing our vows. It also involves a lot of grace and forgiveness - from God and from each other. Having other spiritually mature couples in our lives has also been important. But most important of all, is our commitment to God.

If you are interested in learning more about getting a better relationship with God, I can help. Feel free to contact me and leave a way that I can reply.